In the beginning...
In the beginning there was the earth, and it was good.
...
Sufficient, at any rate...
...
Kind of all right, at least.
Then came the pirates...
Late in Earth's tormented lifespan, some dude created Talk Like a Pirate Day, celebrated every year on September 19
...
And the world was piratical
...
And yet, strangely unbalanced...
Then balance was restored...
Finally, in order to balance the world, Talk Like a Pirate Day's equal and opposite was created
...
Pork Like a Tyrant Day, March 19 every year
...
And we saw what we had done, and it was good.
